New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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