I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
