talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
