We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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