its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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