Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
