I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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