my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Someone came in the potted fern
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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