I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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