i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i out mim tonsoeep
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