singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
