my vag is so smooth its legendary
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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