He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That reminds me...we need to get swords
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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