You really coming over, don't trick.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
