xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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