When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
