what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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