Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
