I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
