peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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