I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize