Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
