Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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