omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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