remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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