No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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