i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
please come you make the beer taste better
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
