you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
