Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Everyone says I win the strip club
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
