The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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