She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
