Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
