In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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