whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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