then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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