Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i think im in europe. pls send help
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize