you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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