I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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