so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
