She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
