he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
