i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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