I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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