i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
