After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
