I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
