I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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