and you said cock pushups were impossible
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
high people should be assigned attendants
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
