i may or may not be watching the land before time
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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