Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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