escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
