But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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