So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
