Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
