i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
