he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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