Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
