your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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