You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
