I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
