i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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